all these words

hey guys

long time i know, how are you? i'll get straight to the point

the weather.

i'm the kind of person who believes everything in our environment affects us .. and the weather in kuwait has been amazing lately .. there have been a lot of clouds, we've been getting some rain and my god i love rain

lets talk about rain for a second ..

why do i love the rain so much?? the thing is unfortunately i'm kind of a gloomy person .. and its not something i'm proud of its just a reality about me .. i'm gloomy and i have a tendency to think i'm rejected and unwanted most of the time .. and the thing about rain is that its sort of like when it rains .. the sky is here for you, does that make sense? i feel like the sky is making a statement when its raining.. like things happen even to the biggest of features in this world, water pours out of these skies, everything in this world is moved and changeable, so it sort of acts as a reminder that maybe the way i'm feeling is interchangeable too . maybe i won't always feel this way .. and sometimes when i'm feeling down and it starts to rain, i feel like the sky is here for me

i mean i know what i'm saying probably sounds pretty lame, but this is me.. and idk.. lately i've been having weird feelings but thats just me as well

also

i want to write poems

and i want you guys to tell me whether you think i should go for it or not .. i've never been much of a poet.. just a writer and idk i wanna experiment a little


i realise this blog post may not have been as interesting as you may have hoped but i guess that just tells you that lately .. i'm not exactly myself

until next time

it's too late i'm already yours

hey guys

how are you all? good i hope..

so i dont know what to say in this post, so idk why i'm posting, i feel like i have something to say here i'm just not sure what ..

it's too late, i'm already yours .. what does that mean? it sort of sounds like surrendering to someone or something..do you guys ever feel that way? do you ever feel like you're surrendering or giving up... not necessarily to something good or bad, just surrendering...accepting that you can't change how you feel towards something or accepting that this is a part of your life

so is this surrendering a good thing?? well it depends doesn't it .. i believe none of us should settle for something less than what we actually deserve .. a couple of months ago i retaliated surrendering myself to something that i clearly did not deserve .. i deserved better .. and i carried that belief around with me .. and that's why on this day, i feel like i'm slowly attaining what i deserve and this is good .. i know i sound vague but i really can't get too personal .. which sucks i know since i pride myself in being open to everyone who reads my twitter and blog but surely not everything is made to be shared .. plus the details of my life can be boring sometimes and you guys only deserve interesting things <3

so i dont know what message i actually delivered to you in this post .. i guess what i'm saying is that when you surrender yourself .. make sure it's for a good cause, you're valuable

until next time

maybe someday, love

hey guys..
how are you all? good i hope
i'll cut straight through to the chase

how often has it been where you wanted something to happen and it never did? or maybe it was going to happen but not just yet...the thing is we cannot rush anything because we have no power over the events that are expected to happen to us

wanting something badly..especially if it involves another person .. it doesn't happen fast and it doesn't happen suddenly so you may want something and you may need it for days in days out and it may or may not happen

i'm not saying don't hope.. on the contrary, hope is a necessity to survive in life even though disappointment follows it sometimes but i guess the point i'm trying to make is that if things don't happen right now, or next week or whenever .. you can't assume they never will

when we discover we want something .. and this is especially about me .. i always want it to happen like right away, i dont wanna wait, i feel like its good and i want it .. but it's not possible to pursue life with that belief because i can't possibly rush things into happening that'll only ruin everything .. the beautiful thing about acquiring something you've dreamed of having is how long you've waited for it .. because only then will you know its true value

i think i'm stating the obvious in this post but idk i feel inspired right now to deliver this message because a lot of things get ruined due to haste and irrationality ... we really can't rush life, sometimes its best that we let it take its time, and i'm the kind of person who believes that if you're basically good, and you have clear intentions, life will be good for you.. i dont believe in "why do bad things happen to good people" i believe in "good things come to those who wait"

so i have a couple of questions that i want you guys to think about ..

what do you want right now?
how long have you been waiting for it?
is it worth it?
are you planning to take action or give it more time?

everyone will answer these questions differently .. i just hope you all make the right decision

until next time

the sweetest sadness in your eyes

hey guys..
how are we today?

i'm sorry i didnt post anything up here in a while .. my schedule has been a bit hectic .. i'm not sure what i want to say right now or maybe i am, i dont know

here's something i don't understand

pretension.

why do people feel the need to pretend?
some of us actually are attracted to it because we don't know that its actually happening...when did we become a world filled with fake smiles and unspoken words?

why do we smile at people we clearly don't like and ignore people we clearly want to talk to

why do we think its ok to lie just to make ourselves seem more interesting

and here's the biggest question

why do we still put ourselves out there?

i'm gonna talk about that very last question more than the others because i feel like there's a lot of meaning behind it

as humans, we have an abnormally high demand for attention and love, which is fine it's in our nature..but for some strange season a lot of us seem to repeatedly make the same mistake over and over..it upsets me when i see people falling for the same kind of lies and tricks that they used to fall for .. have you not learned anything? life hands us all kinds of learning experiences, and we're allowed to fail that first time, but when we keep failing...we really haven't learned anything, we just sit there day in day out and watch the cruel world push us down and down

i kinda drifted away from my point, or maybe i didnt i dont know

i guess what i want to say is that pretension exists everywhere we go, and we should never let it get to us, we should never tolerate it from others and we should never find ourselves exercising it, you are beautifully unique and my god is it painful to watch such originality fade away

until next time

the reason i feel the way i do

hey guys

how are you all? i hope you're all doing superbly ... this post will be sort of deep and personal.. idk why maybe it's the music i'm listening to, it actually relates to what i'm about to blog about...i'm sure many of you know how i feel about the song 1973 by james blunt...i recently found a piano cover of it online and everytime i listen to it, it just gets me thinking...there's just something about its melody that fills my body with thoughts of nostalgia..

in the song james blunt talks about he will always be with simona in a club in 1973 even though time goes by

life takes us away from a lot of people .. and sometimes we take ourselves away from those people and blame it on life's cruel ways.. it's hard to tell who's orchestrating his separation but i believe that even when someone is no longer a part of your life.. the influence they have had on you is permanent and you will always be in a special place with them no matter what...

whenever i feel myself drifting from someone, and once the parting has been finalized .. once i know things aren't coming back no matter what .. all i can do is remind myself how amazing they are and how valuable their contribution to my life has been .. because this makes moving on easier .. i do remember the bad things but it is not how i choose to store their image in my mind

so idk who's reading this .. but if at some point you were in my life and you no longer are .. don't try to come back because everything has its expiry date and remember .. i hold no hard feelings whatsoever

until next time

self-evaluation

HEY HEY HEY HEY HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

idk why i'm excited but i am so BAM!

hi :)!

how are YOU?

now the rest of this post will be in red, idk why, i guess i wanna SPICEN things up, and red is the color for SPICY...what? idk anyway just look it's gonna be in red ok?

now moving on..

self-evaluation is the title of this post. WHY?

I'll tell you why baby ;) the reason i called this post self-evaluation is because we all need to freakin do it ok...and by it i dont mean anything perverted, "it" here means SELF-EVALUATION. we all need to evaluate ourselves..and not in a nerdy, school-work kind of way...in a more generalist kind of way...like how have you been doing so far? how have people been treating you? how has life been treating you? do you like the way you are now? if yes, why. if no, why not? there's no way out of it you need to think about these things...and it doesn't have to be in a literal form like you don't have to literally excuse yourself from an activity and go like "oh i'd love to go to the movies with you, but i have to self-evaluate right now..can we do this another time?" no, duh, you don't have to do that but what you do have to do is think about it, in passing...when things happen to you... these thoughts must occur to you eventually

FOR EXAMPLE!!!!

recently i've been battling something and i can't tell you what it is, i wish i could but there are some things i simply cannot write here, and it really got me thinking about my view towards people...am i too demanding? do i expect too much from those i care about and believe they care about me too? it's really something i think about a lot... like who really out there is genuine...and pure and true to me? you know..it's thoughts like that, you need to think about these things otherwise you become naive and gullible and easily manipulated and no body wants that.. so i guess what i'm saying here is that you need to be aware of yourself before you begin questioning the way people treat you, just know who you are and know what your actions are and how they may be interpreted because people don't respond to the intention behind your action, they respond to the action itself regardless of how you felt whilst doing it... think about that

until next time MA BABIES!

an opportunity in disguise

hey guys

how are you all? i hope you're all doing really well..i'm going to talk about something today and i think it's important that we all understand what i'm trying to say..

what are opportunities? for some of us, they change our lives...and for others..we let them slip away so easily and spend the rest of our time regretting it..or we simply blame life for not giving us even more opportunities.. but the thing is.. you can't ask much from life, in fact you shouldn't ask anything, you should take what you get because that's how it works.. sure we want things to happen and sometimes they do happen, but they don't happen coincidentally, they happen because someone out there made it happen

what i mean is, you can't go on thinking things are going to happen for you..you need to go out there and make things happen for yourself, and once you do...opportunities will present themselves to you, and some of these opportunities may appear in disguise..basically you may not know it's an opportunity until you accept it

for example, i'm gonna tell you something that once happened to me and i think it relates to this situation..

this past summer i was on the hunt for a job, and i travelled for a while and came back, and when i came back the job hunting got so helpless that i felt like i should have stayed out of kuwait since being in kuwait was pointless, i could have been elsewhere having fun with people i genuinely enjoyed spending time with.. but i stayed in kuwait because i couldn't travel again and i decided to take a summer course at college, and during the time i took the summer course i managed to finish a subject that opened up all my other subjects for me AND i got a job interview during that same period, if i was out of the country none of this would have happened, now i'm taking the right subjects at college and i have a job i genuinely enjoy..

so i guess what i'm trying to say is, the choices you make may seem like they're wrong sometimes, but actually they could be the best thing you ever did...now i'm not saying we never make wrong choices because the reality is we do, but if we're smart and if we get it right after the first mistake was made...we'll end up growing and living a beautiful life.

until next time

what's wrong with the truth

hey guys

i'm not sure if i already blogged about this? did i? idk, i'm gonna talk about telling the truth...and not telling it...so sort of lying...or yeh something like that

anyway

i'm listening to keep breathing by ingrid michaelson as i'm writing this, it's a deep song, you should check it out if you believe i have good taste in music..or if you're looking for something to listen to..i hope you like it..

ANYWAY!

back to the main point and i am SERIOUSLY asking this question..what is wrong with the truth? your natural answer would be nothing, the truth is great. and yeh it is, but then if that's the case then what the hell is wrong with you? do you wanna convince me that you never lied before? i'm pretty sure you did..so why are you saying the truth is great if you hide it sometimes...is it because you can't tell the truth? is it because lying is easier? is it because you're seeking attention desperately so you resort to lying? is it? is it? is it? idk what it is, and it frustrates me because we all lie...and why do we do it? why do we hide things? why do we manipulate others? why do we cheat? why do we do all of these terrible things? these are not key characteristics of human beings, these were not rooted within us as we were created, we are GOOD yet somehow we evolved into something disgusting.. and something evil, i just don't get it. i guess we all need to fit in..and some things about us make us stand out..and these things make us beautiful, but unfortunately some people see these differences as something repulsive so they resort to lying to hide it...

and that's just one kind of lie

the other kind..its the unjustified kind..the worst of them all..

we lie to hurt others..we lie to make ourselves look better..we lie because we believe it to be an option

ask yourself this..is lying an option for you? if it is, i'm not interested in you reading my blog. idk what to say.. i thought i'd have more to say about this but idk..i've been lied to and recently i discovered something huge that i've been lied to about and wow, some people are purely disgusting. enough said.

until next time

leave me to my thoughts

hey guys, how are we all doing? good i hope!

now let's get started..
i have this entire week off, YAY!
alright moving on to a more interesting topic
the title of this blog is leave me to my thoughts, in case you haven't read it, although i'm pretty sure you have, i just account for the each and every possible case.. case 1 you read the title, case 2 you didn't read the title which is unlikely but nevertheless possible..

leave me to my thoughts..what does that mean? i'll tell you, people seriously, we all have thoughts, we all think, we all have ideas, things click in our heads and things happen and yeh and sometimes some of these things that make sense, and some of these things that seem right, don't actually happen..which is fine that's life man, things don't always happen the way we want them to, but it's not wrong to actually think about it...like sometimes when we go through something that sucks and people go like just don't think about it, for god's sake no i will think about it, because guess what, i have no control over my thoughts, none of us do, that moment you spend trying to control your thoughts, that's a waste because it can never happen, you end up concentrating too much on not thinking about something and ultimately you end up thinking about it anyway

the reality is, we think about things that bother us and not thinking about them is not an option, we simply must its in our nature to dwell over our mishaps and misfortunes...it doesn't make us cynical or pessimistic it makes us human.. i for one believe that if you think about something enough, you will eventually grow tired of it and you will stop by yourself, which works for me, it can be a time-consuming process though, see there are things that i've been thinking about for MONTHS and yeh it sucks but i know it'll go away someday, but trying to deny it all...that just makes it worse because when it hits me eventually it hits me hard..you know??

idk what else to say! oh eid mubarak you blessed, lovely people! until next time.

no complications

hey guys
how are you doing? good, i hope. me? i'm quite alright thanks for asking (you didn't ask but i assume you did because i know you guys are polite and cute and gaah i just wanna hug you guys right now because you're reading my blog) anyway back to the point, lately my schedule has been hectic and that's why i haven't been posting much.. i was hoping this can be a daily thing but it clearly can't be due to my schedule which is all over the place all the time..anyway are we all excited about our upcoming vacation? i know i am! wanna know why? BECAUSE I GET 4 DAYS OFF BABY! and that's the longest vacation i've ever had since summer...just sayin' i don't get weekends because of my job so this is a pretty big deal for me..

so you must be wondering, what does this have to do with the title "no complications" well, smartie pants i was just about to get that! my god you can be so impatient sometimes..just kidding i love you and you're STILL cute and polite for reading my blog... so my discussion today will be about complications, and we all know what those are..those are things that make matters more difficult..and a lot of people are at conflict when it comes to this issue because some of us believe complications are circumstantial and others believe they're created by us in order to avoid doing something.. and that's an interesting debate because both arguments are actually sound, generally speaking i do complicate things, in my head, a lot..my head is so weird man, its like sometimes..you know that feeling alice got when she was first stuck in wonderland and she had no idea what the hell was going on, i go through that in my head TIMES 100! i never know what's going on and how i get from one thought to another, for example i may find myself thinking about restaurants then all of a sudden i start thinking about koalas, wtf nourah! and no i don't associate koalas with food just in case you're wondering, koalas are adorable and i would never eat one, i just wanna hug one, a7es they would give me the warmest hug ever <333 anyway back to the point! my god i drift off way too much, how did i get from talking about complications to koala hugs? SEE MY POINT! now, sometimes we complicate matters so we can try to understand what's going on when in reality we're just making it worse, and that's why i believe we should keep everything simple and i don't really know how to pick sides in a matter like this because it is a tough call at the end of the day...i just think if you don't wanna do something don't create lies and mess up the situation just to get out of it, just tell the truth for once and don't make things worse for anyone, and if you're one of those people who was unfortunate enough to have complications handed to them on a gold plate by life, then you'll just have to work your way around it my amigo...amigo, why did i say amigo? now i'm thinking about bullfighters..anyway until next time.