so it's a new day

hey guys
so its 10:44 am where i am and i just woke up, i kinda feel a bit helpless idk why, who cares, anyway i learnt to put up with myself. i start college tomorrow, i'll try to post something up here before i do but it'll be really early in the morning so i don't know if i'll remember or not. this morning i'm thinking about one particular thing, how almost strangers leave an impact on our lives. isn't it funny how people you barely know can affect you so much without knowing it? maybe it's just me but i believe the presence of every individual in my life has a meaning to it, for example a former friend may have been brought into my life to teach me a lesson about how bad friends are like, which is why they're a former friend now. or a meaningless quick infatuation may be brought into my head just to remind me that i'm still a teen at heart. i'm gonna be 19 soon, my last teenage year, it sure feels weird. i was never one of those all-high teen girl that everyone wanted to be like, i was the awkward one with the bad hair and pimples and it's ok i never really felt that i hated that about me, i don't set unrealistic expectations for myself, i think that this is an important phase i must go through and i'm glad i did the way i did, the thing that scares me though is the part that comes after, ever since i was 13 all i knew who to be was a teenager, and now after i step out of 19 i feel like it's a completely new chapter in my life. maybe i'm making a big deal about things like i usually do, but the idea of being 20 really scares me. i mean i always thought that a person who is 20 is like really old (i know that's childish of me to think but whatever it's how i think) and like, really mature you know? but i don't feel old, i am mature yes but there never was an age restriction on maturity. anyway i won't have to worry about being 20 for another year, so that's enough for now. until next time.